"Momma Tried"

"My hope is that they will remember that mommy tried. Even when she was tired, even when she was stressed. I hope they know I did it all for them. That I had every intention of being great, good and grand, but some days all I could be was okay."

Somedays I feel like my mom game is on point, and other days I feel like I fall short...really short. I am constantly second guessing every decision I make where my children are concerned. I think that whether you are a stay-at-home parent or a working parent, we struggle just the same. As a working mom, I worry about the amount of time that my kids spend with a third-party caregiver versus spending quality time with me. I feel like a bad mom when all I can muster for dinner after working all day is hot dogs and mac-n-cheese verus something more wholesome and nutritious. I feel like a disappointment when I tell my kids it's too late for a bedtime story. I feel guilty when my patience wears thin and I raise my voice. The feelings of inadequacy never cease to exist, whether at the forefront or in the back of our minds. 

In a world where mommy shaming is prevalent, when another parent notices our good moments, it is never forgotten in our minds. While at Target with one of my boys, the moment happened that we as parents dread: in true toddler fashion, a temper tantrum ensued, complete with crying and screaming.  I took a deep breath, held my son's face in my hands, and quietly told him to take deep breaths, look in my eyes and try to calm down. In an instant, the temper tantrum was over and all was well. Thereafter a lady approached me and told me that I handled the situation "beautifully" and was "really impressed" by how I had dealt with my son.

Mostly, the way we continue pushing through each day is thanks to our kids. They are the ones that reinforce daily how wonderful we are when we feel like we are far from it. The moments when they wrap their arms around your neck, kiss your cheek and tell you how much they love you and how you're the "best ever," is the best validation a parent can receive. These are the moments we live for. While I am definitely not the perfect parent, in the eyes of my kids, I am "the best mom ever."