Creating Habits

Everyone always looks forward to the New Year, to making resolutions and starting anew.

Sometimes I feel as if we lose value in the resolutions we make because we forget why we made them or we lose hope of ever achieving them. Rather than creating resolutions, think more of changing an aspect of your life to create a habit. Perhaps giving up something entirely or incorporating a large change too quickly isn't a great way to start because we tend to burn out as fast as we begin. Maybe if we start small and build up to create a life changing habit, our goals would be better achieved. Perhaps it's time to create a positive or healthy habit and limit the restrictions we place on ourselves.  

Whatever your goals are the for the New Year, make them life changing. 

"Momma Tried"

"My hope is that they will remember that mommy tried. Even when she was tired, even when she was stressed. I hope they know I did it all for them. That I had every intention of being great, good and grand, but some days all I could be was okay."

Somedays I feel like my mom game is on point, and other days I feel like I fall short...really short. I am constantly second guessing every decision I make where my children are concerned. I think that whether you are a stay-at-home parent or a working parent, we struggle just the same. As a working mom, I worry about the amount of time that my kids spend with a third-party caregiver versus spending quality time with me. I feel like a bad mom when all I can muster for dinner after working all day is hot dogs and mac-n-cheese verus something more wholesome and nutritious. I feel like a disappointment when I tell my kids it's too late for a bedtime story. I feel guilty when my patience wears thin and I raise my voice. The feelings of inadequacy never cease to exist, whether at the forefront or in the back of our minds. 

In a world where mommy shaming is prevalent, when another parent notices our good moments, it is never forgotten in our minds. While at Target with one of my boys, the moment happened that we as parents dread: in true toddler fashion, a temper tantrum ensued, complete with crying and screaming.  I took a deep breath, held my son's face in my hands, and quietly told him to take deep breaths, look in my eyes and try to calm down. In an instant, the temper tantrum was over and all was well. Thereafter a lady approached me and told me that I handled the situation "beautifully" and was "really impressed" by how I had dealt with my son.

Mostly, the way we continue pushing through each day is thanks to our kids. They are the ones that reinforce daily how wonderful we are when we feel like we are far from it. The moments when they wrap their arms around your neck, kiss your cheek and tell you how much they love you and how you're the "best ever," is the best validation a parent can receive. These are the moments we live for. While I am definitely not the perfect parent, in the eyes of my kids, I am "the best mom ever." 

Unplugged

"I think this is how we are supposed to be in the world, present and in awe." -Anne Lamott


On Friday, I informed my kids of the chores that they had to complete on Saturday before they could have screen time. I performed my usual Saturday duties of giving my kids breakfast, cleaning and doing laundry. This was accompanied by an optometry appointment for my 9 year old and a trip to the store. All the while, the kids helped with cleaning with zero complaints, were well-behaved enough to all earn something from the treasure box at the optometrist's office, and didn't constantly want for things at the store.  When we got home, my boys worked on their reading and writing as part of their chores while my 4 year old lay quietly on the couch beside me as I read a book. There was no noise from tablets or TV's; just the stillness of a quiet house along with the gentle hum of the refrigerator and constant ticking of the clock.

It was in this quiet that I longed for more time with the family, being unplugged, relaxed and feeding our minds with something more than video streaming and games. This quiet time allowed us to have very pleasant and meaningful conversation over lunch, incorporating discussion of the things we had spent the morning doing. These little moments of unplugged time brought new perspective and appreciation for the time that we spend together and the time we spend alone bettering ourselves, without the disruption of screentime. It was in this morning that I found the need to take more time to be present, unplugged, all the while marveling at the peace, serenity and knowledge that was gained.

The Power of Kindness

"Life is made up, not of great sacrifices or duties, but of little things, in which smiles and kindness, and small obligations given habitually, are what preserve the heart and secure comfort." -Humphry Davy

I am a firm believer in smilng at people as they pass or giving a compliment. I have always said that you should always give someone a compliment even if for the smallest thing. Today I went grocery shopping and noticed a women in the produce section with her infant daughter. The women had a very lovely, well-done tattoo on her arm from her shoulder to her elbow. I kept looking at it, admiring the beauty and intricacy. I wanted to compliment her but didn't get close enough to say anything without being creepy. I passed her again in another aisle of the store as I smiled at her and she smiled back, I told her that I noticed her tattoo when we were both in produce and just wanted to tell it it is very beautiful. She thanked me with a large smile and went on her way. I love how even the smallest compliment can make someones day.

What Makes Us Different

"Live the life you always wanted to live. Avoid criticizing others and concentrate on fulfilling your dreams." -Paulo Coelho

Someone said to me recently that they don't want to waste their life having kids and a white picket fence and the stereo typical American dream; that they would rather see the world and have more followers on social media and gain the attention of the world in order to feel successful and loved. Their idea of a wasted life is very much different than mine. I don't consider having a family, a career, a home and unconditional love from beings that I created to be a wasted life. For me, I could say that because they don't have those things, perhaps their life is wasted but I won't say that because they've chosen the life that they have for themselves and if they chose not to have with things that I have, it does not make them better; it does not make them superior; it does not make them more worthy of others time and attention. Their fame and fortune matter as less to me as my family values and my current situation in life do to them. Sure my dream is not to have 1 million followers on social media; my dreams do not involve traveling all over the world alone looking for something; my dreams do not involve continuously waiting for people's approval of me. My dreams are my reality and that reality is having a family with three amazing kids, a husband that I adore, a career that I enjoy, and the happiness of knowing that I made the choices in my life to have these things; that my choices do not mean less than theirs because they feel my choices are nothing short of mediocre. 

Calling my life boring or mediocre simply because that is the life that they chose not to have does not mean my life is less important; that the choices that I've made in my life are inferior to yours and I'm less deserving of other peoples time and attention. They can live their life however they choose and I shall live mine however I choose. Judging and criticizing me for having the life that I have which is so vastly different from the life that they have or want makes no difference to me....because I love my life and I don't have to go searching for anything to make me whole or happy. 

Where there is Inspiration, there is Passion

"The trick is to just follow your small moments of curiosity. It doesn't take a massive effort. Just turn your head an inch. Pause for an instant. Respond to what has caught your attention. Look into it a bit. Is there something there for you? A piece of information? For me, a liftime devoted to creativity is noting but a scavenger hunt - where each successive clue is another tiny little bit of curiosity. Pick each one up, unfold it, see where it leads you next. Small steps. Keep doing that, and I promise you: The curiosity will eventually lead you to the passion." -Elizabeth Gilbert

Some people have blogs for hair and makeup tutorials, fashion inspirations, weight loss/fitness tips or some other mind blowing tips or tutorials. I'm far from creative in those regards; however, my love, my passion comes in the form of writing. My inspiration for my writing comes from the things I encounter in my life, whether that be a life experience or a quote that I come across that moves me.

I keep this little journal full of quotes that I have found that inspire me or resonate with my soul. It is rare that a day goes by that I don't write something down in it. I use it not only for my writing, but for comfort, advice or simply just to gain perspective or peace of mind.

It is said that actions speak louder than words, but sometimes the right words can make all of the difference.

What Pulls At Your Soul?

“What in your life is calling you? When all the noise is silenced, the meetings adjourned, the lists laid aside, and the wild iris blooms by itself in the dark forest, what still pulls on your soul? In the silence between your heartbeats hides a summons, do you hear it? Name it, if you must, or leave it forever nameless, but why pretend it is not there?” — Unknown source 

Life. Life is a series of events that teach us more than we could ever imagine. Life is not simple; it is complex. We go through the motions every day and we live, we survive, we persevere. There is something that keeps me grounded, that makes me feel peace and understand my purpose. What pulls at my soul are those with meaning and depth. I talk frequently about nature and the sky both of which pull at my soul and speak to me. The sky has meaning for me that life exists beyond our grasp, beyond our comprehension. The sky is a place that I know will always be there, never straying although always changing. The sky and nature remind me of life in which there is light, dark, greatness, peace; there is hope, beauty, fulfillment, knowledge and things unknown. How can something like that not speak to your soul?

A Sunset Story

“It was sunsets that taught me that beauty sometimes only last for a couple of moments, and it was sunrises that showed me that all it takes is patience to experience it all over again.”

            -A.J. Lawless

Every fall and winter morning on my commute to work, I am greeted by the most incredible sunrises. The mountain views combined with the glow of a new day has always made my heart happy and my soul at peace. The sunrise reminds me that this new day is a gift and ought not to be taken for granted. 

Lately I have struggled with this realization as I have been pushed and tested to my limits. My heart has been broken with the recent loss of my Aunt so close to the one year anniversary of my Mom’s passing, coupled with drama and toxicity from my extended family. Some days I feel like my emotions cannot take any more distress, and then I remember that sunrise; that sunrise that almost always takes my breath away. It is then that I remember that I can no longer be discouraged and allow inferiorities and inadequacies based on the opinion of others to consume me, for the universe saw fit to give me a new day, a new sunrise, a chance to start fresh and begin again.

Staying grounded

I came across this quote recently on Instagram:

"The secret is to never lose sight of the simple, everyday miracles in life. Good food, literature, laughter, music, compelling conversation, nature, and art. Look for them in every day, and even when it feels like your whole world is unravelling, you will never be too far from a needle and thread".

Last year was a tough year for me. I lost my Mother due to an unexpected heart attack and then battled depression, anxiety and insomnia.  The hard part of the experience was losing sight of the things that mattered to me, however large or small.  I started taking things for granted and then it hit me one day: there is so much beauty and wonder in this universe, I need to wake up and enjoy it rather than bringing myself down and staying down.

I found that being in nature was the best cure for my soul; that finding new music that I enjoyed and could relate to on some level, relaxed my soul and eased my mind; that having meaningful and deep conversations helped to open my mind; that taking photos of anything beautiful helped me look for the beauty in every day. While these things may seem small to some, it all helped me put my life back together. It has been almost a year since my Mother passed and I am starting to feel like I'm getting back to myself again. I am not 100% but I am getting there slowly.

To find hope, solace, peace and happiness in life's everyday miracles is one of the most profound feelings to which I vow never to take for granted again.

Welcome to My Blog

My name is Kari. I am a wife, a mother, a daughter, a sister, an aunt. I have a congenital heart defect and a pacemaker but I am not weak. I am kind, forgiving and love unconditionally but I am not a pushover.  I am not easily offended but I don’t tolerate disrespect, abuse or the inconsideration of others. I take my role as a wife and mother very seriously and my family is my priority. I am a fighter, a survivor, a dreamer, a romantic; however, I am not perfect and have my own failings. I struggle everyday with depression and anxiety and yet I persevere because I must. Writing helps me fill the voids in my life. It is in this expression that I reconnect with myself and feel peace. 

Sometimes I just sit and think. I think about where life has taken me and where life will lead me. I marvel at the sky, the vast unknown that beholds the immensity of the universe. In such a phenomenal space, we observe such greatness, such splendor. It is in this wonder that we find ourselves, our purpose and our grandeur. Our lives are filled with happiness, disappointments, triumphs and trials and we continuously push through the bad to get to the good whenever possible. We learn, we grow and we shape our lives with every experience. We are imperfect but not easily defeated. In these experiences, somehow the universe knows just what we need at any given time; it shows us just how beautiful life can be anywhere on the horizon.